


Hands Off

by Jo (jmathieson)



Series: Tangents and Intersections ~ Kink Bingo 2013 [28]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Abstinence, Celibacy, Community: kink_bingo, Established Relationship, Hand Jobs, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-13
Updated: 2013-08-13
Packaged: 2017-12-23 09:31:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/924749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jmathieson/pseuds/Jo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clint goes on a mission without Phil. They make a pact.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hands Off

**Author's Note:**

> Kink Bingo Round Six (2013) ~ Celibacy / Virginity
> 
> **Author's Note** : I will not be publishing a story tomorrow. I'm having trouble catching up on everything (life, writing, laundry) after my vacation, and have fallen a little behind. The Tangents and Intersections series will continue on Thursday, August 15th.

"So. A week."

"Yeah."

Phil stood there, trying to think of something to say when all he wanted to do was wrap his arms around Clint and not let go.

"This is stupid. I mean, it's not like we haven't been on missions apart before. Hell, there was that month last year..."

"Yes."

"But that was before..."

"Yes." Phil was still trying to think of something to say other than, 'It'll be OK,' because he'd already said that twice, not sure if he was trying to convince Clint or himself. "I'll... I'll miss you," he finally said.

"Really?"

"Yes, of course."

Clint's face split into a wide grin that turned shy after a moment. He looked back down at the bag that he was packing (well, stuffing shirts and spare socks and underwear into), and the tips of his ears went a little pink.

"Clint?"

"Yeah?"

"Is there something..."

"It's stupid."

"More stupid than me telling you I'm going to miss you just because you're going on a mission without me and we won't see each other for a week?"

"Actually, yeah," Clint said. "And besides, what you said was nice. I'm going to miss you too."

"So..."

"I'm not sure I can."

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

"I want to... it's just that... it's stupid. You'll laugh."

"I won't laugh."

"You will."

"I promise not to." Phil looked into Clint's eyes and Clint was convinced. Phil never broke his promises.

"I thought... I just... Yesterday, when I was thinking about being away, without you I mean, I thought that while I'm away..." Clint stopped and looked down at his bag again.

"Clint, whatever it is..."

"I'm not going to, you know, jerk off while I'm away."

Phil's eyebrows went up, but he didn't laugh, or even smile. He didn't say anything either.

"It's just... it's just this idea I had," Clint said, talking to his bag instead of to Phil, "since it's the first time we'll be apart since... I know it's stupid."

"It's not stupid."

Clint looked up. 

"It's not stupid at all. I think it's..." Phil stopped, struggling to find a word that wasn't, 'sweet', "...nice."

"Really? You think so?"

"Yes. Do you... Would you like me to do the same thing?"

"I... If you want to, I guess. But only if you want to," he said in a rush, "I mean, I'm not going to ask you to, or anything, just because I'm... you know."

"You're not asking me. I'm offering."

"Only if you want to," said Clint firmly.

"I do. It'll be... a thing. While you're away."

"Yeah, that's kinda what I thought."

"OK."

"OK."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

"Be careful. No throwing yourself off buildings when I'm not around, OK?"

"Do my best," said Clint, zipping up his bag.

"I mean it. Don't you dare get hurt on a mission when I'm not there to keep an eye on you." Phil reached out and gripped Clint's arm, hard.

"OK boss, I'll be careful. I promise."

"Thank you. You'd better get going. The Quinjet leaves in," Phil looked at his watch, "seven minutes."

"Yeah. Phil..."

"Don't worry. I won't come with you. We'll say our goodbyes here."

"Thanks. Well..."

"Come here." Phil pulled Clint into a hug and held him tight. Clint wrapped his arms around Phil and hugged back, laying his cheek against Phil's and whispering, 

"I love you."

"I love you too. Stay safe."

"I'll try. I promise."

They gripped each other tighter for a moment, and then Phil stepped back. Clint ran his hands down the lapels of Phil's suit jacket, straightening them, and then stepped back and picked up his bag.

"Bye."

"Goodbye. See you soon."

"Yeah."

Clint sketched a little wave with one hand, then turned, squared his shoulders and strode down the corridor. Phil watched his back for a minute, and then turned and headed for his office.

~~~

Phil's phone rang. He looked at it, and the caller ID said, 'Hawkeye,' so he turned around and headed back towards his office as he answered.

"Hello?"

"Hi. It's me."

"Are you OK?"

"I'm fine. Everything's fine. I have a bit of downtime so I thought I'd call. Is that OK? Can you talk?"

"It's fine. I'm headed back to my office so we can talk."

"One, why are you still at work, it's eleven p.m. in New York, and two, where were you going - no, don't answer that. You were going to the commissary for a coffee and a semi-petrified Danish."

"You're right about the second part." Phil had reached his office and let himself in then locked the door behind him. "And as for the first part, I often work late, you know that. You complain about it often enough." There was a fond smile on Phil's face, as he said it.

"Phil."

"OK, I'm still here because if anything goes wrong with your mission I'll find out about it sooner if I'm here and maybe I'd be able to do something..."

"I knew that."

"So why did you ask?"

"'Cause I wanted to hear you admit that you were there because of me. You should go home."

"I will. In a bit."

"Are you in your office yet?"

"Yes. I'm lying on the sofa."

"Um... Is it OK if we talk? About personal stuff, I mean..."

"Yes, it's fine."

There was a silence on the line for a few seconds.

"I just wanted to tell you that I was still doing, you know, the thing we talked about before I left."

"Me too."

"Cool."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Um... I guess. I mean, it's OK. It's... different."

"What do you mean, different?"

"Well, uh, normally, when I'm going to bed at night - really bed I mean, not just grabbing a couple of hours propped up against a wall somewhere in the middle of a mission, you know what I mean."

"Yes." Phil understood all-too-well the difference between 'going to bed' for a real night's sleep and grabbing what sleep you could, when you could.

"So since we've been you know, dating or whatever, normally if we aren't sleeping together, I jerk off before I go to sleep, thinking about you. Sex with you, I mean."

"I do the same thing."

"Really?"

"Yes, really."

"Wow."

"Why are you surprised, Clint?"

"I dunno, I guess I just never thought..." Clint trailed off, realizing how stupid anything he could say next would sound. Of course Phil jerked off regularly, he was a guy, wasn't he?

"I love you. I'm attracted to you. I love having sex with you. Since we've been together, if I'm sleeping alone, I usually think about you before I fall asleep."

"I... that's... I love you too." They were both quiet for a minute, listening to the crackle of the cell phones.

"You were telling me how it was different," Phil said.

"Yeah. I still think about you, but instead of thinking about sex with you, I just think about... you. About the way I love seeing you smile, about how sexy you look in your suit when you're shooting at the range - "

"You think I look sexy then?"

"Oh God, yeah! I've never told you that? Shit, before we were going out, if you came down to the range to shoot while I was there, I'd watch you, and... well let's just say I'd have to hit the showers right after."

"I didn't know. I mean, I knew that you were watching me, but I didn't know that you thought I looked good."

"Sexy. Very, very sexy. Of course, marksmanship and competency are a thing for me, so..."

"That I did know. Me too."

"Yeah. Anyway, it's kinda nice. Thinking about other stuff about you, instead of just sex. Don't get me wrong, I'm horny as hell, and I can't wait to get back and fuck you through the mattress, but it's kinda nice, in a way."

"We may have to flip for it."

"Huh?"

"For who gets to fuck who through the mattress."

Clint laughed. "I'm game either way, you know that."

"Yes. I do." There was a fondness in Phil's voice and he was quiet for a moment before saying, "I've been thinking about you at night too."

"Yeah?"

"Yes. About how much I like it when you put your arms around me, even if we're just sitting on the sofa watching TV. I love cuddling with you."

"I'm glad. I like it too. A lot."

"I know." The line went quiet between them again.

"So, uh, I'll probably be back in three or four days, assuming everything goes OK here." They talked for a few more minutes about the mission, and then signed off.

~~~

As they had both come to expect, if not accept, with SHIELD missions, seven days ended up stretching to ten and the circumstances involved meant that they didn't have a chance to talk again beyond a quick call as Clint was getting on the Quinjet, to say he was on his way home.

"I'll be back in New York in about four hours, and Jennings has already said that we can all take 24 hours off and come in for debrief the day after tomorrow. The last couple of days got a little hairy, so..."

"You're OK, though." Phil knew he was asking a second time, but he couldn't help himself.

"Totally fine, not even a scratch, I swear."

"I was planning to head home in about an hour, but I could stay..."

"No, go home."

"You'll go straight to my apartment?"

"Yeah, that's what I was..." Clint stopped.

"Planning? Thinking? Hoping?" Phil asked.

"Something like that."

"You know that I want to see you."

"Yeah, I guess I'm just not comfortable inviting myself over to your place yet."

"You're comfortable enough to park yourself in my office whenever you want, whether I'm there or not."

"That's different. It's your office. I..."

"You what?"

"I belong there," Clint said quietly.

"I understand." It was one of the things that made their relationship work. Phil didn't make assumptions about how Clint felt about things. He took Clint's feelings on their own terms and did his best to understand them. Most of the time, he did, though sometimes it took a while. And even when he didn't, he accepted them for what they were.

So Phil didn't say, 'You belong here too' or even, 'I want you to feel you belong at my apartment,' instead he said,

"I'll go home, but I'd like it very much if you went straight there, when you land."

"OK, I will."

"Good."

"Yeah. Phil?"

"Yes?"

"Just... It'll be good to see you."

"I missed you too."

"See you soon."

"Yes. Bye."

"Goodbye."

Phil did, in fact, head home almost immediately. Once he got there he inventoried the freezer for pizza and the cupboards for breakfast cereal. He decided that there was enough of both to tide them over for the next twenty-four hours, and that assumed Clint would be spending some of that awake and out of bed. He knew that the mission had gone badly, but not too badly. Three days overdue, but no one killed and no one badly hurt. He had no idea, however, how much sleep Clint had had over the past ten days.

Anticipating that Clint would be just as frustrated as he was after ten days of celibacy, Phil showered and shaved carefully, and then changed into clean sweats and a t-shirt. Then he tried not to pace while he waited. He watched an hour of recorded television, read two chapters of the novel he was in the middle of, had a beer, and checked the contents of the fridge and freezer once more.

Four-and-a-quarter hours after their last phone call, there was a knock on Phil's apartment door. It was the same rat-a-tat that Clint used to use on Phil's office, back when he still knocked.

Phil answered the door and stood back to let Clint in. Clint dropped his bag and stepped straight into Phil's arms, hugging him tight. They held each other quietly for a long time.

"I guess this is what being in love is like, then," Clint said.

"What do you mean?"

"Missing someone so much that it feels like there's an empty place in your chest when you're not together."

"Yes, I guess so. I missed you too."

They were quiet for a while longer, still just holding each other. Clint drank in the feel of Phil's body through the thin t-shirt he was wearing, and inhaled the familiar smell of his aftershave and freshly shampooed hair. 

Phil sank into the feeling of Clint's strong arms around him, of being held close. He laid his cheek next to Clint's stubbly one and sighed. Then his lips found the side of Clint's neck, and he was kissing a line from jaw to earlobe, then from earlobe to chin.

"Phil." Clint thrust one hand into Phil's hair and turned his head, seeking his lips and then kissing them frantically.

"Missed you so much," he gasped between kisses. "Want you so much."

Clint's other hand was under Phil's t-shirt, sliding up his back and pulling him closer. Clint leaned back against the wall and Phil leaned into him, rubbing shamelessly against him for a minute and then struggling to get his hands under Clint's shirt and tug it off. They moved apart just enough to strip off both their shirts, and then Phil went straight for the buttons on Clint's jeans. 

"God. Phil."

The fact that Phil's desperation matched Clint's own was making him even more eager. Ten days of abstinence had left him feeling not only frustrated and horny, but physically tense as well. He'd gotten hard the moment Phil's arms had come around him and his balls were already tight and aching. The relief when Phil slipped his jeans down off his hips helped, but not enough.

"Fuck, Phil, I'm not going to last ten seconds."

"You think I am?" Clint felt the hard hot length of Phil's dick against his thigh as Phil ran his hands down Clint's chest. Clint hooked his thumbs into the waistband of Phil's sweatpants and boxers, and eased both down over his erection. Phil did the same with Clint's underwear, and the sudden shock of skin against hot skin made them both gasp. Phil thrust against Clint, not caring that there were standing in the hall with their pants halfway down their thighs. He was desperately chasing the release that he'd been denying himself for the past ten days.

"Not gonna... can't..." Clint gasped, trying to form a sentence and failing. Instead he got one hand between them and wrapped his long fingers around both hard, straining cocks.

"Yes," the word came out of Phil’s mouth as a long hiss, and it was all Clint needed. He started to stroke them both, already desperately close himself. Phil put his mouth on Clint's and probed deep with his tongue, one hand in Clint's hair and the other grasping a firm round butt-cheek.

The rhythm of Clint's hand was jerky, stuttering and inelegant as they rutted against each other, seeking as much contact as they could get, heaving and jerking and moaning. But it didn't take much, after ten days of self-denial, both men were ready to burst, and their desperation and the hot slick friction of Clint's hand and their taught abs more than made up for a lack of rhythm. 

Clint tensed, coming almost painfully hard, moaning into Phil's mouth as he did. Phil thrust once more into the slippery mess and came as well, in long slow shudders that left him leaning hard on Clint for support.

Clint put his free arm around Phil's shoulders and kissed his temple.

"You OK?"

"Yes. Fine. You?"

"Yeah. Not doing that again, though. Not sure I'd survive it."

"Me neither. I came so hard I saw stars."

"Yeah."

"Shower?"

"Together?"

"Sure."

"OK."

"Love you Phil."

"Love you too. Welcome home."

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks always to my excellent editors t! and Shazrolane.
> 
> Find me on Tumblr at: [Queen of Wands](http://jmathieson-fic.tumblr.com/)


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